Start Choosing Happiness
We all want to be happy, but we don’t ask ourselves what happiness means to us. I’m not a happiness expert, but I wanted to share my thoughts on the topic. Hope you find it useful.
Happiness is a subjective experience. It is intrinsic, coming from within, not from outside. What we all should realize and admit is that SUCCESS ≠ HAPPINESS, especially the kind of “success” we see on social media. In fact, it’s the other way around: success doesn’t make you happy, but happier people usually become successful.
Photo by Cristian Escobar on Unsplash
Additionally, we shouldn’t see happiness as binary: either you feel it or you don’t. Probably no one can say they are happy all the time. Goal isn’t to achieve a permanent state of “happy” but rather to grow a sense of “happierness”: being around loved ones, taking care of our health, contributing to a healthy society, helping people in need — these are all examples of things that make us happier. Just make sure it comes from within and is not forced.
We should also focus on what’s in our control, not the results, regardless of the outcome. Adler (one of the three giants of psychology) said, “All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.” It might sound strange at first, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Think of getting anxious about giving a presentation? You feel anxious because of your relationship with the audience and their perception of you. In this case, you can do your best, but you can’t control what others think of you. Just separate your tasks.
Sometimes we blame others for our own unhappiness. It seems easier that way, no guilt, no action needed. But again, no matter the past, focusing on what’s in our control and doing our own tasks gives us hope and leads to better outcomes.
We don’t know how much time we’ve got. Don’t delay becoming happier. We are living in the moment — not in the past, not in the future, but now. So, do something to feel better now: invest in a relationship, take that little trip you’ve been planning for a while, join a gym, wear your nice clothes you’ve been saving for later, treat everyone as a friend, be genuine, and don’t lose hope in the future.
Lessons from Loss: What Grief Can Teach About Living
Thomas Brag from Yes Theory shares what losing his mother taught him about life, pain, and growth. Through grief, he discovered lessons that go beyond his personal story, truths about how to live, heal, and find meaning again. I could relate to him, and share his thoughts, so here they are.
1. Life is not fair, but it’s still worth living
Fairness isn’t promised. The sooner you stop wishing life worked differently, the sooner you can start focusing on what you can control. Acceptance is the first step toward peace.
2. Face your pain instead of running away
Pain doesn’t go away when ignored, it grows. Facing it directly turns it from something that breaks you into something that teaches you. He calls this emotional alchemy: turning hurt into growth.
3. Build energy, not happiness
Happiness comes and goes, but energy can be built through taking care of your body and mind. Sleep, food, exercise, and rest give you the strength to handle anything life throws at you.
4. Don’t try to do it alone
Healing requires people. Let others in when you’re struggling. Vulnerability and connection are what remind you that life still has light even when you can’t see it yourself.
5. Take one step at a time
When life falls apart, the future looks impossible. In those moments, you only need to take the next small step forward. Bit by bit, you rebuild yourself.
6. Let pain transform you
Suffering can destroy you or shape you into someone deeper and stronger. Loss can awaken creativity, compassion, and purpose, if you allow it to change you.
7. Take care of your health, it’s the foundation of everything
When you’re sick or burned out, all other problems shrink into one: getting well. Physical health affects emotional strength, without energy, even hope fades.
We don’t have to be smarter than the rest. We have to be more disciplined than the rest - Warren Buffett
Remember the formula:
Discipline = the value of the goal + the reward of the pursuit - the cost of the pursuit
Just a reminder
When was the last time you sat down and thought “Is this life that I have, life that I want. And if it isn’t, what am I doing each day to work towards the life I do want?”